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Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children
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Review
Everyone's read them―those books that fundamentally change the way you look at things. Before reading Building the Bonds of Attachment, I had read a great deal on the subject. Despite recurring behavioral problems with my older child, I thought I was on the right track. Then I read Hughes's book and finally understood what I had to do help my daughter. This is the book I'd recommend to every adoptive parent. (Ann Keisling Adoptive Families Magazine)I thought the first edition of Building the Bonds of Attachment a magnificent book and recommended it to everyone I knew. The changes in the second edition make it even more essential reading for all who care for and work with children who have suffered neglect, loss, and trauma, and therefore haven't a clue about how to love and connect with others. This beautifully realized story of a young girl's struggle to learn how to love makes gripping reading and will be an inspiration for all those whocare for troubled children. In dramatized form the book presents a model both for the kind of therapy and the equally important kinds of parenting, that are needed to awaken love in deeply troubled children. The approach, which is securely founded inthe very latest research about trauma, attachment and brain development clearly lays out the kinds of care that a child needs in order to overcome the scarring effects of early neglect and frightening physical abuse. An important new emphasis is on the crucial importance of caregivers' understanding and coming to terms with their own early attachment experiences. This is a must read book that will have a profound influence on the whole field of treatment of troubled children. (Phyllis B. Booth, MA, LCPC, LMFT, RPT/S, director of training at the Theraplay Institute)Daniel Hughes has once again proven his keen insight into the psyches of unattached children. This book is filled with gems of wisdom about the therapeutic parenting of wounded children and the often counterintuitive ways one has to respond to their behavior. Through the voices of a foster mother, psychotherapist, and social worker, Hughes creates a pattern for understanding, empathizing, and treating these vulnerable and provocative children in a manner than can bring true healing, not just temporary relief. In this edition, Hughes has added the importance of having the mother look into her own attachment issues to ensure that the child can feel safe enough to relinquish control to her, an essential step toward self-regulation. This book is a must-read for all adoptive and foster parents and the professionals who work with them. (Nancy Verrier, adoptive mother, psychotherapist, and the author of The Primal Wound and Coming Home To Self)Dr. Hughes has done the impossible: take the gold standard in practical texts for both the clinician and the foster or adoptive family, and make it better, by nearly any measure. Where would we have been without the first edition of this clear-headed, practical, clinically sound book? And now Dr. Hughes has taken the courageous step of modifying some of his own ideas and recommendations, in accord with new research, and the honing of his own views through continued clinical practice. (Michael Trout, author of The Jonathon Letters, Director of The Infant-Parent Institute, Inc)I thought the first edition of Building the Bonds of Attachment a magnificent book and recommended it to everyone I knew. The changes in the second edition make it even more essential reading for all who care for and work with children who have suffered neglect, loss, and trauma, and therefore haven't a clue about how to love and connect with others.This beautifully realized story of a young girl's struggle to learn how to love makes gripping reading and will be an inspiration for all those who care for troubled children. In dramatized form the book presents a model both for the kind of therapy and the equally important kinds of parenting, that are needed to awaken love in deeply troubled children. The approach, which is securely founded in the very latest research about trauma, attachment and brain development clearly lays out the kinds of care that a child needs in order to overcome the scarring effects of early neglect and frightening physical abuse. An important new emphasis is on the crucial importance of caregivers' understanding and coming to terms with their own early attachment experiences.This is a "must read" book that will have a profound influence on the whole field of treatment of troubled children. (Phyllis B. Booth, MA, LCPC, LMFT, RPT/S, director of training at the Theraplay Institute)
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From the Publisher
SPEICAL FEATURES: --Comprehensive model of treatment for high-risk, traumatized, children and youth --Application of attachment theory and research for psychotherapy and parenting --Narrative format for a detailed description of the model and interventions --Applicable for both professional and lay readership
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Product details
Paperback: 304 pages
Publisher: Jason Aronson, Inc.; 2nd edition (August 8, 2006)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0765704048
ISBN-13: 978-0765704047
Product Dimensions:
6.1 x 0.6 x 9.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
123 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#563,635 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I am a clinical psychologist, adoptive parent of an older child, and THOUGHT I was an attachment expert because that was the topic of my doctoral dissertation. This book makes the transition from Attachment Theory to Attachment in process--both at home and in therapy. It absolutely helped when we brought out 8-year-old daughter home from Russia. My daighter was not severely attachment disordered; but many adopted kids and foster kids have attachment issues even if they do not carry the diagnosis of Reactive Attachment Disorder. Furthermore, as a psychologist, I find the parenting approaches and way of thinking to be helpful with MANY families where children are showing behavior problems.
This extremely valuable book serves as a superb introduction to the seemingly incurable problems of recognizing and treating developmental trauma and reactive attachment disorder (RAD) in children. Written in the style of a novel, Dr. Hughes presents a painfully accurate portrait of what RAD looks like in everyday life, as both parents and therapists struggle to cope with the baffling behaviors of an intellectually precocious child suffering from RAD. Building the Bonds... describes RAD in clear language and with a compelling story line. Real-life parents and therapists unfamiliar with RAD, will readily recognize Hughes' description of their own exasperation as they attempt to handle the confusion and conflicts they experience with such children. Daniel Hughes is the preeminent authority on RAD, and this book helped me begin to understand the extremely complicated guidelines involved in treating RAD children.
If you have adopted a child, or are considering adoption or fostering, this is a MUST read. Or, if your child had any sort of trauma that may have interrupted the attachment process in the early years of their life, this deserves a read. Also read Attachment Based Parenting by Hughes. Real eye-openers. Changed everything for us.
My adopted daughter has been with me for 3 years. Prior to that I worked with foster children for over 20 years in various capacities. I thought I was well prepared for the role of foster mother. NOT! I've struggled for the past 3 years trying to make progress with her behaviors and our attachment. I've ready many books, but nothing helped like this one. This book helped me in a myriad of ways. It taught me how to talk to my daughter to help her understand why she is angry and how her abuse and neglect affected her. It taught me about what she went through to help me understand why she does what she does. This book takes you through the abuse one little girl suffers through her eyes and soul. It shows what happened to her psyche during that time and while in foster care placement with parents with no training. And then how a properly trained foster parent could interact with her to help her learn to let down her barriers slowly and carefully and learn to love again. Outstanding book! I will buy every book by Daniel Hughes and carry it with me for a long time to come. In just two months, I've made real lasting changes with my baby girl.
We just brought home a tee wager from Eastern Europe. He is showing signs of past abuse although we do not know his complete story. To implement these things suggested, we would have to be far past the language barrier that we currently face. However, to know what may be happening in his kind has helped me to think outside the box on how to handle some of these meltdowns that we experience with him. As he is too old to hold down well, it will be difficult to experience the holding aspect of this therapy. For a child Katie's age, I can see why this is so effective! Traumatic pasts are difficult to overcome at any age and therapy has to be tweaked for that child, that history, and that age group. Whatever "that" may be. Definitely a good read to gain an insight to what trauma (abuse and neglect) does to the mind of a child and how to intervene.
A very good read, learning a lot and the book is easy to following along on a very hard topic. I would recommend to any parent or care giver that need to learn more about dealing with children that come from Trauma.
Compelling account written in story-style that REALLY makes sense to the layman. I am not a "psychologist" or anything; just a mom (of six!). But this book riveted my attention from the first page to the last! I highly recommend it. Actually, I think it should be required reading in high schools (in place of a lot of the BS high-schoolers are "required" to read now!) - where ALL the future parents are now residing (and desperately in need of this information!).
Should be required reading for all foster and adoptive parents, BEFORE they foster or adopt. Should be required for child therapists and social workers.
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